It is actually reported that there is sexual immorality among you, and of a kind that even pagans do not tolerate: A man has his father’s wife. And you are proud! Shouldn’t you rather have gone into mourning and have put out of your fellowship the man who has been doing this? For my part, even though I am not physically present, I am with you in spirit. As one who is present with you in this way, I have already passed judgment in the name of our Lord Jesus on the one who has been doing this. So when you are assembled and I am with you in spirit, and the power of our Lord Jesus is present, hand this man over to Satan for the destruction of the sinful nature so that his spirit may be saved on the day of the Lord.

—1 Corinthians 5:1-5 (TNIV)

Here is a classic case study in Christian love. Contrary to what his critics might think, Paul is not some self-righteous guy nosing about in other people’s business or trying to be “holier-than-thou”. He is not interested in punishing for punishment’s sake. Rather, here we see a sincere desire on Paul’s part for the ultimate welfare of this man who had put himself in mortal danger by his immoral behavior. Paul loved the man enough to desire what was best for him. Paul wanted to see the man’s relationship with God restored so that the man would not perish. He recognized that severe measures were needed to correct this grievous wrong. That is why we see Paul prescribe such harsh punishment against the man. But Paul did not desire the man’s destruction. He desired his repentance so that the man could be reconciled to God, the Source and Author of all life.

We Christians must be very careful in all of this. Expressing Christian love for another means that first and foremost we remain humble. We must always acknowledge that we too are broken and fallen creatures who need God’s forgiveness. We must remember that we too are most capable of behaving in ways that are grievous to God. Our sins may not be the same as the person whom we are rebuking, but we are capable of our own folly nevertheless. When we rebuke someone, we should always do it in sorrow, not with joy or glee, and if we feel either of those latter emotions, that should be a warning to us that we are acting out of self-righteousness rather than genuine Christian love.

Today we hear a lot about not being “judgmental.” Many folks who advocate this, especially non-Christians and post-moderns, would have us suspend moral judgments, but that is not what Scripture or our Lord mean by warning us not to be judgmental. Contrary to the bizarre post-modern notion that there are no set standards of morality, there are fixed standards of right and wrong—God’s standards and God’s Truth. We are moral creatures and how we behave does matter.

Real love always desires the best for its beloved and living in harmony and obedience to God our Creator is a good place to begin. However, when we start deluding ourselves and thinking we are better than others when we see them engage in harmful or immoral behaviors, we are guilty of having the kind of judgmental attitudes Jesus warned us about, and we must cease and desist immediately. That does not mean, however, that we suspend our moral judgments, judgments based on God’s Truth and Word, because all of us stumble and fall from time to time (although some seem to stumble and fall more than others), and all of us need to be lovingly corrected on occasion.

When I was growing up in Van Wert, OH my family was well known in the community and my grandpa Shaffer was the county truant officer. It seemed like there were 8000 pairs of eyes watching me at all times and I hated it because I really couldn’t misbehave without getting caught. Consequently, I couldn’t wait to get out of that town because I resented others nosing around in my affairs. The nerve of it all!

Looking back at that time and my thinking in retrospect, I can see the folly of it. Now I am glad that I DID have all those eyes watching over me. It likely saved me from ruin. I realize now that my parents encouraged others to keep an eye on me because they loved me and wanted the best for me. They understood human nature and the human condition. They understood that given a chance, “boys will be boys,” and not always in a good sense. That is not being “judgmental.” That is love made manifest and I thank God I was blessed to grow up in such a loving community.

May the Spirit bless you with the power to make his love manifest to others.