This Memorial Day, many Americans will gather for barbecues, enjoy a long weekend, or mark the start of summer. But amid the festivities, one phrase you won’t—or shouldn’t—hear is “Happy Memorial Day.” Unlike Veterans Day which celebrates service members past and present, Memorial Day is a solemn occasion, a time to honor the American service members who made the ultimate sacrifice. To wish someone a “happy” Memorial Day completely misses the purpose of the day.

Memorial Day, established after the Civil War and formalized as a federal holiday in 1971, is dedicated to those who died in military service. Each flag at half-staff, each wreath laid at Arlington National Cemetery, represents lives cut short—sons, daughters, parents, and friends who never returned home. Their sacrifice secured the freedoms we cherish. 

That’s why the words we choose on this day matter. Memorial Day actually isn’t about celebrating service members. It isn’t even a time to advocate for greater benefits for our veterans. It’s a day to reflect on the sacrifice of those few brave men and women in uniform who gave their lives for our country. Accordingly, we ought to choose words that promote the true purpose of the day. 

For those with ears to hear, listen and understand. Read it all.