See what our brave new world has wrought.
From there, I learn, the hook-up – a face-to-face meeting – occurs, which usually entails sex. ‘‘Usually just oral,’’ one young girl reassured me, seeing no irony in the ‘‘just.’’ ‘‘Everyone does it!’’” she added with eye-roll upon witnessing my obvious horror.
‘‘Why would you meet up with them if you’re not going to have sex?’’ another says, in a tone that implies I am way down the spectrum of coolness. ‘‘That’s just teasing.’’
‘‘But, don’t you worry that this is all too much, too soon? That you’ll wind up jaded or regret your choices?’’ I splutter, unable to contain myself. Rightfully, I receive an earful in response.
‘‘And you call yourself a feminist!’’ one young friend admonished. ‘‘Now girls are acting like men always have, there’s supposed to be a shame around it. How hypocritical!’’
It is true I find this issue a conundrum, one that tests my own moral boundaries and ethics. As a feminist, I agree I should be supporting young women to live their lives the way they wish; reinforcing the idea that it is their bodies and their choices.
But, perhaps because I have also have been talking to a lot of young men lately who are either participating in or witnessing hook-up culture, I must confess I am left in despair.
From what I’m hearing, young men are happy to participate in casual sex and claim they are still friends with lots of girls they have ‘‘been’’ with. However, ask if they would consider any of them as girlfriend material and a vast majority respond with a vehement ‘‘no way’’.
‘‘I would never go out with a girl who’s been with my mates,’’ one 17-year-old told me. His friend, 19, agrees. ‘‘No guys go out with girls who screw around.’’