Last week I wrote about my struggles with seminary work and obeying God’s call. I appreciate the response and apologize to the folks who took the time to share their experiences and offer support. I simply didn’t have time to respond to you but covet your responses nevertheless.
Today I would like to provide an update to last week’s reflection because I’ve wrestled mightily with this in my prayers this past week and have benefited from the God-inspired advice my dear friend, Fr. Ron Baird, offered me regarding seminary and Christian formation (his advice: shut up and ask Jesus what he wants me to learn from seminary). What I’ve learned this past week is that I don’t have to enjoy the demands of seminary work to do it. Enjoyment seems to be a value-added feature and this is where trust comes into play. God may call me to do arduous work I don’t enjoy. Yet if I am doing what God wills, my enjoyment becomes secondary—contentment should follow and has.
Make no mistake. I’m still busy and still overloaded. The difference is that I am now handling the burden with Jesus’ help. Like Paul, that must be sufficient for me (2 Corinthians 12:9) and enables me to do all things (Philippians 4:13).
I am thankful that Jesus has answered my cries for help. Note that he did not answer me in a way I might have preferred but he did answer me. I would do well to continue listening to him and do my best to obey. If I am smart enough to do so, I have utter confidence that seminary will turn out well and that my faith will grow as a result.
What about you? How do you respond to Jesus when he answers you in a way you do not particularly like? What have been the results? Do these moments provide you with the opportunity to grow in grace? If so, how? Share your own tales from the trenches that we might learn from each other and provide Jesus with an opportunity to help us grow.
Thank you for your update. I will continue to pray for you and your discernment. Fr. Baird gives wise spiritual guidance.
“How do you respond to Jesus when he answers you in a way you do not particularly like? What have been the results? Do these moments provide you with the opportunity to grow in grace?”
When I am wrestling with something (resistance to acceptance) I experience acute tension at the base of my neck and the adjoining shoulder area (talk about “”getting the message”‘.) Eventually through prayer and meditation (sometimes over prolonged periods of time) I come to a realization (understanding, discernment) of the leading of the Holy Spirit. I know this has occurred when I confess my resistance, accept the guidance I have received, and I have immediate relief from the tension. By the way, in my experience, our Lord God is not offended by a response that says” I don’t like this Lord, but I accept it!”
Usually, over time I come to an understanding of the reason I have been lead in the path given. By accepting, I am at peace with God and myself – very often experiencing a period of an intense awareness of God’s divine love, a period of thanksgiving.
That is the best I can do to explain this.
Peace be with you!